PAR FOR THE COURSE TIGER AND THE PORN STAR?
All Tiger Woods, all the time.
Well, at least for the foreseeable future.
As they say on the golf course, ''Fore!''
As they say in enumerating the golf great's newest total of extramarital dalliances: ''More!''
The number is a septuple-bogey. Otherwise known as seven.
The latest name to surface is Holly Sampson, who has appeared in what are known as adult films.
Please excuse Quick Hits if that number increases between the time this is typed and the time you're reading.
Reports from abroad (that means Britain, in this case -- and not from a woman who is involved in any intimate relations with Woods) place the number at double digits.
You don't think this is news?
Maybe you're not facing reality. Or watching CBS' ''Face the Nation.''
On Sunday's show, distinguished journalist Bob Schieffer even took note.
''As his life came apart last week, he was still complaining about being put upon, about not being able to lead a normal life,'' Schieffer said. ''Sorry, Tiger. We all make mistakes, but if you wanted to be normal, you should've taken Arnie's [golf great Arnold Palmer's] advice: Just play golf with your friends on Saturdays, like the rest of us.''
ARE WOEFUL Bulls FEELING A DRAFT?
Random thoughts while wondering whether quarterback Jay Cutler will warm up to the idea of being responsible primarily for handing the ball off in cold weather (now that the Bears are a ''running team'' again):
- Battling the Nets for the No. 1 draft pick might be quite a task for any team this season, but Saturday's performance (OK, more like lack of one) in losing to the Raptors made it appear the Bulls might be up (or is that down?) for the challenge. Maybe a better effort against a lesser team (that would be the Nets) tonight can convince otherwise.
- Speaking of Basketball, Los Angeles Sparks standout Candace Parker -- the former Naperville Central and Tennessee star -- will hold a clinic Sunday from 6-9 p.m. at the Bulls /Sox/Training Academy in Lisle. The clinic is open to girls 8-18. Participants will receive a T-shirt and the chance to have one item autographed. The cost is $125. More information is available from Larry Stewart at (630) 324-8238 or via e-mail at LStewart@ BullsSoxAcademy.com.
- The Blackhawks will host a toy drive at home games Wednesday and Sunday for the U.S. Marine Corps Toys for Tots Program, Dreams for Kids and the NorthShore University HealthSystem. Fans who bring an unwrapped toy to donation locations at Gates 2, 3, 6 and 7 will be entered into a raffle to win an autographed item by Hawks star Patrick Kane.
- On Sunday, the Walter & Connie Payton Foundation will hold its annual tailgate and viewing party from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. for the Bears-Packers game. Site of the event is Cheeseburger in Paradise, 1472 Market St., Des Plaines. Tickets ($25 for persons 18 and older) include tailgate buffet and are available at www.Payton34.com. Proceeds will benefit the Department of Children and Family Services. That's about as close to paradise as most Bears fans are likely to come this season.
DEPT. OF HEAVY BREATHING
SWEATSHIRTS FIT AMBROSIO
On the second day of Alessandra Ambrosio (not to be confused with the second day of Christmas, but not a bad substitute -- especially for those of us not particularly holiday-inclined, except perhaps in bearing a likeness to Santa Claus), my true love gave to me a glance like you wouldn't believe.
Maybe it was the thought that people actually wear what looked like turquoise dental floss to The Wife but in actuality was a Victoria's Secret thong.
Anyway, as promised: Another day, another glimpse into the model's visit to Chicago last week for the Victoria's Secret Viewing Party of the lingerie company's annual television event.
What does Ambrosio wear when she isn't styling skin-tight dresses or Angel Wings and such things?
''I love sweatshirts and jeans, T-shirts,'' she told Quick Hits. ''I like to be comfortable.''
Less comfortable are those who supported Patrick Sharp of the Blackhawks as Chicago's sexiest athlete. He was in contention for the title that went to Bulls guard Derrick Rose. Brian Urlacher of the Bears was third.
To say the balloting was curious might be an understatement.
Sharp was listed online as the winner. Victoria's Secret put out a press release saying Rose had the most votes when balloting closed and Sharp's listing on the VSChicago.com Web site was ''an internal error.''
''It was beyond my control,'' Sharp told Quick Hits. ''I thought we pulled it out. Obviously, they had other ideas, so I'll live with second place.''
Quick Hits thought Sharp's fiancee had this thing locked up.
''Me, too,'' he said. ''She had everyone voting, and I'm sure she broke the mouse on her computer voting so many times, but next year I'll get it -- maybe.''
Given Chicago's well-deserved reputation for voting irregularities, might there have been some shenanigans?
''I've heard about that,'' he said. ''So we'll have to appeal, see if we can get a revote or a recount or whatever they want to do, and we'll go from there.''
Something says any legal briefs in this case will be more likely to resemble a thong.
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